Thursday, November 15, 2012

Ridiculously Thankful

Somedays I feel as though my life experience should put me in an exhibit at the Milwaukee County Zoo for everyone to gaze upon and see what the wild "Lauren Slattery" is getting herself into now...

November is the month about being thankful, it should not be singled in on just one day that you eat turkey until you enter a trytophan-induced sleeping coma. Let me enlighten you as to why today was a fabulous reminder to be thankful for the little things, but first a little background...

Once upon a time,
When we signed our lease in May, the landlord stated he was going to be putting in a new front stoop because the one that was present was a death trap to anyone who did not to the deep nooks and crannies of the sunken concrete mess. Well, it took until this past week for the contractors to show. Today was the day they were actively pouring and laying the concrete.

I was busily playing my second life's role as "kitchen diva" and making some quinoa and fish dinner later tonight. I turned the burner on to the high setting to get the water to boil faster. The contractors have been using our power source through an extension cord running from the 2nd story front window and we've been paying frequent visits to the fusebox in the creepy basement because my kitchen appliances can't keep up with the worker's power tools. So, our flat was built in the 1940's and still has very much of the same old charm, which can sometimes mean you need to keep doors shut in order to keep the place warm. I attempted to get my coffee pot to brew my normal cup o joe and it wouldnt turn on, therefore I knew it was time to run to the basement and check the fusebox. I left the quinoa on the burner to boil and closed the door behind to keep the heat in and ran down the stairs to fix the power. By the time i got back upstairs, to my chagrin, the kitchen door was locked. Oh joy. 

Puppy was loose in the house, pot was at a steady boil, and there i stood helpless outside the door. I no cell phone, shoes on, and i looked as though i rolled out of bed. My immediate reaction was to knock on the neighbor's door downstairs. No answer. I went outside to talk with the contractors to see if i could barrow a phone. They were up to their knees in concrete and the most help they could provide was letting me barrow one of their cell phones. So i have a phone, now what?! I haven't memorized any phone numbers since I was in 3rd grade talking to my friends on the landline... Luckily I talk with Joey frequently enough that I do know his phone number in my memory. He was working so all I could do was keep calling, hanging up, and recalling. After 9x's i decided to try and figure out the next plan of attack.... try to break into the neighbors garage and see if they had a ladder. FAIL. They are smart people for locking their doors!...

All i could think at this point was the fire dept would let me into my black and crispy kitchen from the burnt quinoa.... and poor Jordy probably would've been so afraid of the smoke and fire alarm he would've took a dump on the couch....i guess i was smart enough to have renter's insurance at this point... as i stood in the front yard in my socks watching the contractors pour concrete God sent me a sign. There was big white van with a large multistory ladder on atop the roof across the street driving slowly past the coffee shop. I think adrenaline took over cuz I don't know where I mustered up all the energy to do so, but i ran across the street on the cold Wisconsin November pavement and knock on the ladder man's window. He was on his phone. I will never once again take advantage of the midwestern folk's friendly charm! He rolled down his window, hung up on his current phone call, and asked me what the matter was. I explained to him I locked myself out and the only option at this point was to try and crawl through the front window where the extension cord from the contractors snaked up into our indoor outlet. I can only imagine he felt so very compelled for me with my squirrel's nest hairdo, muddy socks, and anticipation to NOT burn the house down. He parked and brought his magical ladder to the front yard with no hesitation aside these contractors. I ran to the garage to grab a baseball bat, just in case. 

I am so very thankful I did not inherit my dad's fear of heights because this would've been the most opportune time to be set up for failure. Also, I was thankful for having recently hiked at Wyalusing State Park and their very steep trails filled with ladders along the western Wisconsin bluffs. The magical ladder man offered himself to climb up and I said, "No thats ok, I will take care of this one!" I hiked my sweats up, put the bat through my front pocket on my hooded sweatshirt, hoisted myself up the ladder to the window. Luckily, i did not have to break a single thing, the screen and window slid smooth as butter right on up. Also, thank you to my mother for instilling the love for cardio within me because I was able to fit through the window. I did accidentally knock the fake tree by the window on to the chair , but thats the most damage done. Once I was safely within the window, i waved down to the ground and thanked the wonderful, magical ladder man for his services and bolted for the kitchen to get the quinoa off the burner.

To my surprise, the grains were cooked to perfection! Holy sheisse. I ran to my phone because i was receiving a call from Joey simultaneously. I plopped myself on the couch to take a breather and voice the whole story to my boyfriend. Wow, how freakin ridiculous. We both agreed it is necessary to have an extra set of keys made and placed for safe keeping for such instances. I think Joey was proud of me for: 
1. not breaking any glass 
2. not breaking into the neighbors garage
3. not burning down the house

I decided to finish up my original cooking and share my "being thankful" story for you fine people out there because it is something that can never be emphasized enough. I think this whole 15 minute time of panic, my little brother was smiling upon me from up above when that ladder miraculously appeared. I often times tell my patients "its never over, till its over- you have to keep fighting and hanging on to hope." I felt as though I actively lived what i preach this afternoon. 

As I am taking a break at work later this evening, I am going to enjoy the hellz out of my quinoa and fish while i inappropriately giggle at myself for the whole story of how my dinner came to be. Amidst a sigh of relief, I am so very thankful that there is someone up there keeping an eye out for my ironic and ridiculous antics. Someday when i meet God i know its going to go a little like this: we'll be at a slight distance from each other and we will both throw our heads back in hilarity. He will then proceed to tell me, "you were one of my special humans that brought many a smiles to my face." Story of my life.

Ultimately, my never-ending thanks to that random magical ladder man for not questioning my motives and spotting for me as I climbed up 2 stories to a flat just as I had left it.

Take a moment and see what Mr Harry's class is thankful for (take special note of Jacob's illustration of his dog)

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