Whirlwind of a Summer

Now that I am beginning to be able to let me feet touch the ground again, i thought it would be a nice little treat for EVERYONE to enjoy a little Sunday night leisure read--

So what exactly has happened in the last few weeks? That is a good question.
1. I finally have a sister!!
2. My best friend is moving in tomorrow.
3. I made some killer homemade clif bars.
4. I have roadtripped, seen, hiked, and cliff dived all of the beautiful Marquette, MI
5. Met up with the "International Cool Kids Club" in Wisconsin Dells
6. Watered Walter, my cactus (or whats left of him)

Lets talk about #1 b/c its my favorite :)
My brother and his fiance finally had their ever so classic "Slattery/Orlando Upper Peninsula Wedding." Melissa had been doing most of the planning about a year and a half and it couldn't have turned out any better. They used the Simpson Place (our family cottage).  The set up for the ceremony was in the front yard amongst all the gorgeous and green trees. Let me just say that Milwaukee/Southern Wisconsin was hitting some of the hottest weather I have ever experienced, and all the brown lawns and lack of rain we didnt have, the U.P. received. I can't remember it ever being that green and lush that far into summer. It added a beautiful ambiance to the whole weekend. The bride walked down the aisle to "I wanna hold your hand." All the monarchs were flitting amongst the set up. Let me just say, I don't think i've cried that much in a long time :) especially joyful crying. I am so proud and happy for my big brother. The other thing that was absolutely amazing about the wedding was the feeling of having Rob alive within the nature of the wedding because of location. My mom carried a white rose and placed it on the chair next to hers. I have soooooo many fond memories of my little brother at the cottage, its basically where I grew up with him half of our childhood, there was just this aura in the sunshine that made it feel like he was present. It was amazing having so many close friends and family for such an event.

It was so cool too standing up in the wedding because it was like you looked around, and so many of us were friends for so long- its so cool to watch where life takes all of us next. One of my favorite parts of the night was sitting by the fire with my parents and few cousins reminiscing the good ole Berth Farm days as kids. Corn fights in the hay mow, Aaron crashing the 3-wheeler into the side of the barn, good old Grandpa Berth and his german nature :) ohh the memories.

The next day after gift opening and clean up, Joey and I took off for Marquette MI for a mini vacation overnight. We ended up getting there around 11PM eastern time, which meant we ate late and found ourselves staying at the historic "Land Mark Hotel" in downtown Marquette. We were even able to talk our way into knocking off $40/night with our fine Wisconsin charm ;) I love yoopers, probably the friendliest group i know!

We took off late morning, hit up the co-op, got coffee, and found ourselves hiking in the rain up to Hogback Mountain. Holy beautiful!! You could see some glimpses of the Huron Mtns.  We ended up packing a loaf of bread from the local bakery and making pb&j up top the mountain. Haven't had a view that good to dine to since watching "The New Girl" last spring! The chipmunks were hilarious up there. They would scamper up one side of the steep rocks to snag the little pieces of bread we left them. We took a bunch of pictures and my favorite one was one with me in the top corner of the pix with God's Country all around me. It was a very uplifting moment for me because times like that i always feel so fortunate to have the health that i do. Part of it is drilled into me that this is my small contribution to Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness. Ain't never gonna tie me down!!

The next segment of the day dealt with cliff jumping at Presque Isle. It has always been on my bucket list to jump into the water from the historic black rocks in upper Michigan. I was nervous for this all day because I wanted to feel out the situation and make sure it was "safe" first. We went around 6PM when the work day was done and all the locals were around doing the same thing we were, dip into Lake Superior. There were approximately 10+ other jumpers. After i watched a little 5 yr old kid jump in twice and decided it was safe, haha. Joey and I jumped at the same time. Talk about exhilleration! As if the excitement of the jump isn't enough, you then get to figure out how to get yourself out of the alcove. I ended up swimming down a little ways to the shallow water and climbing out about 100ft down. Surprisingly, the water to very warm for being Lake Superior. I haven't even felt Lake Michigan down near Milwaukee that warm! Also, there is some ensured safety when your boyfriend (who was on the college swim team for 4 yrs) jumps before you. To say the least it was an amazing experience and something to cross off my bucket list.

Last night we met up with our friend, Amy, from Canada who took an exotic vacation to Wisconsin to experience our way of life. It was so much fun, but far too short lived. Especially when we were spoiled back in the winter with a weeks vacation in London, Ontario. We hit up Moose Jaw Pizza in the Dells and talked about life and laughed a lot. I can't remember the last time i giggled that hard. I love those girls and the wild conversations we have :)

It was a fabulous little week spurt of vacation. I am probably going to be missing that a lot this upcoming week when i am back to getting paid to creepily watch patients sleep while i save their lives. Thank goodness this full moon was over a wk ago... the lunar effect is no joke in a hospital. ha!

I hope everyone is staying cool and soaking up summer. I really feel like it is slipping away waaaaaaay too quickly. Then again, give me a time when summer wasn't fast!

PHenomenal Moments

Let me just begin by saying this: God has the most ironic sense of humor ever. Every time my mom and I attempt to make it home from a PHA conference, our plane flights always love to get delayed or canceled, its almost as if we should have never tried to leave in the first place.... dang another day in FL, extreme bummer. Anyways, we made it home with only a 15 min delay in time from Orlando to Milwaukee. Lucked out this time, but instead of me talking about the end of the trip, let's stop, rewind, and play this past weekend in chronological order....

Little Lauren RN was really feeling the need for a short vaca from all the long hours put in at St. Luke's Hospital. What better excuse could there be than running away to the 10th International PHA gathering in Orlando, FL (where only the coolest of all people meet up). Boom. decided and done.

My sassy-pants partner in crime mom came along for the excursion too. I found myself sipping my Alterra coffee and people watching, when i looked across at the bench seats in front of me and saw a bag that said "Accredo" on it. I then proceeded to ask the woman sitting next to the bag if she was going to the same conference we were. She smiled and said "yes, i am going with my sister, who was just diagnosed a few months ago." We befriended Samtan and Tsetan (native from Nepal, and now residing in the twin cities). Ready for the irony: Samtan is a psych nurse, my mom's a psych nurse, Tsetan is a nursing student, and I am a cardiac nurse. Holy nursefest! This was both of their first conference, and my mom and I couldn't have been happier than to chat their faces off about how much they would get out of this conference.

We made it to Orlando and checked into the hotel. My mom and i decided to meander our way down the road to find some dinner. What could be better than cold raw fish guts (AKA sushi) on a hot humid night?! We called it a night fairly early in preparation for an exciting day ahead of us.

Friday morning we made it over to the conference. We were walking around the expo center and met up with a couple of familiar faces. I was walking past the United Therapeutics booth, when i heard by name yelled out. I looked and found a very friendly face that i hadn't seen in months. It was Chris, my old nursing coordinator from the PH clinic and "medical mom." After all the bear hugs, she asked if I would be interested in speaking in Chicago this fall as a Tyvaso advocate and i gladly agreed, so we'll have to see where this adventure leads....

We proceeded to hit up some of the support groups of all different topics. I don't think any PH patient could be happier, than to sit in a room filled with other patients and discuss relevant topics related to their everyday lives. I loved listening and contributing to the various different discussions.... This trip, being my mom and I's 2nd, was more so beneficial from the networking end than the education. It was such a blast being able to put faces to names with all of the Generation Hope group too. I was able to meet Naomi and her husband Heath from Kansas. We shared our journey's about how we got to where we are now, and its just too funny to hear about all the misconceptions our brains tell us when we are undiagnosed. My favorite from Naomi was on her first date with her husband as they were hiking she stated, "Sometimes i randomly faint when I climb inclines." My own personal statement was, "I'm gonna be asymptomatic until i have a syncopal episode during a bootcamp class at the YMCA and bash my face on a treadmill." Yeah, not normal. Its completely in the human nature to rationalize PH symptoms and why a patient feels them.  This is part of the reason diagnosis can be so impossible to identify, until years later when symptoms are much worse. For example, I always told myself I'm just not in good shape for climbing mountains and thats why I was so short of breath and my heart was pounding when i was in South Korea climbing around one of the national parks while visiting my boyfriend. 

During the dinner presentation, we were educated on all the history of pulmonary hypertension is regards to research, medicine, outcomes, and future ideas. How freakin cool! The last 2 decades have been nothing but an explosion of amazing findings, and it only continues to look better. Its also pretty sweet touching base with the long term survivors that have had it for 20+ yrs, before treatment was even available and they were the first of all patients to trial IV flolan. A lot of these same people have families, work jobs, live normal lives, etc. Thats staring hope straight in the face! Rock on.

Friday night was probably my favorite time of the whole conference. It was the Generation Hope meet up. We were spoiled with fondu and great company. I got to see many of the people i hear from in everyday emails. I also spent a better part of my evening with the fabulous Colleen Brunetti. That woman really knows how to work things. She has a lot of various leadership roles in the PHA community and has some of the best input there is.  We very much think on the same cranial wave-length, so its awesome bouncing ideas and delving into deep conversation.  I also had the privilege of finally getting to meet Jenny. We live literally 20 miles from each other, but it took two years and a different state to meet up. She brought her boyfriend with her. Cutest and coolest couple I met that evening! I always loved the term Jenny used to describe herself has a "PH Warrior," such a down to earth individual. Let's say after the first day, i went to bed smiling from such an amazing day, and the types of interactions with people that i long for so often.

Saturday was another day filled with different seminars to get the mind thoughts rolling in different directions. I'll never forget sitting in one of the medically lead sessions about emergency situations. An elderly woman with PH raises her hand and asks the panel, "What do I do if they want to give me nitrates for chest pain?" (side note: Nitrates are a huge no-no for patients that are taking sildenifil or tadalifil. Basically the blood vessels are pre-dialated as a result of the medication and if they were to take another nitrate to relax the vessels even more, your blood pressure will systemically tank out.) One of the M.D.'s from Mayo Clinic says to the woman, "Just tell those EMTs or ER workers that I TAKE VIAGRA!" I think the whole room was filled with laughter.

A majority of Saturday my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of one of our fellow friends. Katie, who was unable to make it because she was put at the top of the transplant list, had received the phone call from her doc that they had a new pair of lungs for her. She was brought to surgery right away and has been doing fairly well since then. I am so stoked for her. This woman is in her 30's and was a marathoner, flight teacher, and just a super funny girl. I couldn't think of a more deserving person of such an awesome gift, to be cured. Its amazing how close you feel to people that are so similar to you, even though you've really only connected via internet or email. Keep Katie in your thoughts and prayers. Keep breathing easy and fast recovery Katie, we're all rooting for you!!

Sunday went by way too quickly, making it a slight rush to get to the airport. The breakfast presentation had a young kid who's best friend had PH. In his friend's honor, he climbed more than 5 peaks from all over the world to help raise awareness. Then to top it off, he and his family did the "50 peaks in 50 days" challenge, where they climbed to the highest points in all 50 states to recognize and help fight pulmonary hypertension. This kid has be about 17yrs old. I am just miffed at the energy and support of everyone.

My mom and i are going to do what we can to hopefully kick up a PH bike tour next summer. We sat in on a seminar that discussed how other members did various "PHundraising events". I always come out of these conferences so inspired. Last time, it solidified my decision to do the MS150 bike tour, this time I think i want to become certified to teach a spin class.  My goal and hope is to really do something over the next 2 yrs before the next conference to see what I had done in that time frame in regards to awareness. 

Overall, it was a rejuvenating experience once again to come out so hopeful. It also puts me back in my place for how extremely blessed I am.  To have the support and energy that I do is something I take major advantage of sometimes. I was diagnosed and treated within 6 days, that is completely unheard of... I was able to dominate nursing school at the same time i was able to learn how to mix remodulin... I went on a boundary waters trip to canada for a week... I get to work closely with other PH patients on a regular basis... i have the best family and boyfriend in the world... this weekend was a solidifying memory of the reasons i have to tell myself to shut up, slow down, and soak up what I truly do have. Everyone for that matter, everyone should stop and take a moment to simply breathe. We're all guilty of feeling sorry for ourselves, but in moments like that you need to allow yourself the chance to feel frustrated, kick a wall, take a deep breath, and know you really are ok. 

One of the strongest quotes i heard this whole weekend was a doctor talking about how sometimes PH patients are cursed because they feel their put in that position to think have to think that maybe their lives will end earlier than they anticipated. Only true to a point. The M.D. said "We were all born into life, and life is terminal." So when you walk out to get your mail today and not trip down the stairs breaking your neck or drive to work safely and avoid any type of car accident along the way or make dinner tonight without burning down the house.... do me a favor and smile. You were blessed with another day to dominate. Another day to get out into the world and make a difference. Another day to enjoy the sunshine and beautiful summer breeze. Another day to hug the people that love you. Enjoy it. Life was meant to be enjoyed.

With that i leave you with my last three favorite words: smile, breathe, thrive.

 

jump on it- jump on it.

So i realize i have been a little off my rocker lately in terms of keeping up with my journaling and life thoughts... the new year always kicks up so quickly that I hardly have time to shower and eat (2 very basic personal necessities). Here is a quick "brain-mess" for the later evening.

I am in such a strange place in life right now, but it seems as though all of my friends I graduated with are in very similar boats. This is the first time in close to 20 years that we haven't been in school, so its like you go to educate yourself for such a long time that once you finally get where you have strived to be for so long- you feel as though you're kind of "floating." Where do you go and how are you suppose to feel?

I had two good friends over today for dinner that I haven't seen in far too long. Its been about 6 months since we've been big girl RN's and tonight was the first time that we were able to sit down and discuss our experiences with each other. It was one of those nights that conversation is just great and all you can do is smile because its such a blast to see where life has taken everyone. I remember sitting in a B&N 2 yrs back studying my freakin med-surg book and listening to this group of girls talk about their jobs as nurses. I remember feeling jealous because they all went to school together, now working in the real world, and discussing life together.  All I wanted to do at that moment was take my massive book and burn it in front of the "Henke Nursing Center." Well guess what, I thought back about that moment tonight and smiled to myself thinking, "look, i made it." :)

It was such a refreshing feeling being with Jaclyn and Holly because it reminded me of how great the people in my life truly are.  And seriously what could be better than discussing life over a little Rochambo's?! thats correct, probably nothing.

Every month that goes by keeps getting to be a little less weird in the "planet of the adults," its just another one of those adjustment periods. I don't really know if life every isn't an adjustment period, but it currently is something that we've never experienced before. Guess all one can do is really just keep on keepin on.

And now... time for a lil lame brady inspiration...

sore muscles

Smile Cracker #3: Aches post dancing. Its the day after a wedding and i wake up on my friend's futon to let out that massive, fulfilling stretch, when i am stopped mid appendage extension because I feel every muscle in feet and arms just ache. Now this could be just a nuisance of a problem, or it could be fantastic excuse to do nothing but sleep, veg, and watch movies all afternoon with one of my best friends. Number two sounded more appealing-so i went the veg route.  Basically everytime I moved, i was reminded of what a great time I had the previous night filled with dancing. I know my whole body was really in it because I had to sneeze and my abs hurt as well. I am ever so fortunate to dance with my heart in good shape, so you better believe I am going to put Michael Jackson to shame...ok, thats basically impossible.

However, I know I was doing something right because everyone I made eye contact with had massive grins on their face. I know they're all secretly jealous because I am such a fit pumpin and booty poppin heroine, but thats precisely the reason. I dance, you laugh. Its a win-win situation all around the table.  I feel dance as one of the most prestine ways to show others your personality and confidence. 

The perfect ending to the night occurred with a large group of friends all swaying back and forth to Billy Joel's "Piano Man." Simply classic. Its moments like this that will flood my brain next time the song pops on the radio or my itunes. My sore arches and aching knees were oh so worth it by the time this evening rolled around. Dancing is da bombski, thus I am forced to crack a smile.

B&W

"Smilecracker#2: back to the color basics. Sometime ago my little brothers fave joke he ever made up was "what's black and white and red all over...???" the original answer is a newspaper- Rob put his own spin on it and stated a nun falling down the stairs. When I recall this joke nowadays, it still makes me chuckle like the first time i heard it. And no worries, no nun were harmed in the creation of this joke.

Thus being said, let me bring us back to the part the whole smile cracking part of this post. The black and white color scheme naturally go fabulous together. The first TVs were started as that, as they are common classy colors for elegant affairs. I love waking up to take a hot shower in my old victorian apt with the classic black and white colored tiling, which then leads me to slap put on some Doobie Brothers and dance my way clean.

After showering I make my way to the kitchen to start boiling water for my french press. While waiting, I often times sit on the counter top and find myself get lost in thought as i stare at the same tiling on the kitchen floor. It isn't until i begin to hear the whistling of the teapot before i make connections with reality because I am so mesmerized by the schemey beauty of the black and white that swirls around me. Just a great way to start any type of day- lost in deep thought that is provoked by the colors B&W.

and thus, I am forced to crack an smile.

random thoughts from an insomniac

So- i am a shift rotator, which means that as a nurse i work any and all shifts. This week I am the creep who walks in my patient's rooms at strange hours to watch you in your sleep and ensure a regular breathing pattern, really i mean that in the most loving way it can sound. Thus being said, I have most likely the STRANGEST sleep habits out there. While I was awake this morning until 3am (its my night off), i came across a website that i was completely intrigued with. It reflects on the everyday awesomeness of simple things (click below to be entertained)

1000 Awesome Things

I decided that I am going attempt to compile my own list of "Smile-crackins" of things that happen in my daily life. With that being said, here goes...                      

"Smile-cracker #1": That first sip of coffee to start off the day. I was at work on Tuesday night and just starting to take on my night while i was sitting next to the secretary. That glorious first sip of black coffee warmed my insides all the way down to my stomach. When it hit the bottom of my stomach I accidentally let out a rather large "ahhh!" sigh of contentment. The secretary immediately turned to me in slight confusion  and all i could do was laugh and tell her "I just love black coffee." Being a coffee connoisseur herself, she joined the laughter and agreed. Maybe my reaction to that warm fuzzy feeling of liquid motivation hitting the center of belly was slightly inappropriate sounding, but honestly there is no point in holding something so joyful back. Something so simple and joyful is meant to be expressed full on, after all, it is all about the vivacity. And thus, i am forced to crack a smile.

Sit-spurring thoughts.

This weekend was the first in probably the first in months that i was given the chance to just sit. Sit, eat lots of food, and watch episode upon another of Friends with good ole Becky Nagl. There is something about being with this girl that always inspires me to create lists of goals to accomplish or conclude thoughts that have been stirring in my mind for awhile. Its probably because whenever we get to hangout, thats all we do, hang. I do not recall any other person that i just "do nothing" with. We took at trip last March to Florida and all we did was lay by the water and take rides in the convertible.....

I often times get so wrapped up in the fast pace that my life likes to take, that i lose track of my short term aspirations. This weekend i took the time to buy a new journal and compile a list that i will attack in 365 days and agreed to blog about as to keep me on the accountibility track. I tried to think realistically and make my goals attainable. They go as follows (in no specific order):
1. Rescue a dog
2. See the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" at the Oriental
3. Read the Harry Potter series
4. Learn to cook Korean and Ethiopian foods
5. Create a Pulmonary Hypertension fundraiser
6. Froelick in a field of sunflowers
7. Start Yoga
8. Visit Danielle Mode and Becky Nagl in wherever their traveling nursing careers may take them
9. Drink beer at the Hofbrauhaus during Oktoberfest
10. Jog a 5K
11. Attend Circ de Soleil
12. Write a letter/email to a random friend a week
13. Find a new church
14. Get a new grill
15. Take a massage therapy class
16. Hike at 8 State Forrests/Natl. Parks

so hear me out and ask me how "the list" is going once in awhile- i need some reinforcement from time to time.

Ready, set, go!!! :)
(see video below for some motivation)